yesterday threw everything at me.

To my surprise, I was in unusually high spirits yesterday when I heard that Miranda Kerr had given birth to a baby boy in Los Angeles. Having never considered myself particularly maternal, I felt befuddled at my sudden fascination with what would otherwise be regarded as a very intimate occasion for Kerr and her husband Bloom, alone. However, in a euphoric state of intrigue, patriotism and sisterly pride, I found myself detaining every person I came into contact with, prying them for skerricks of information about “how she was doing?”. To put it simply: my hormones were raging.

Disregarding the fact that I have never physically seen Kerr, let alone made her acquaintance, I took it upon myself to flick through the January 2011 edition of VOGUE AUSTRALIA of which she features on the cover, and reminisce. Page 146 of the issue demonstrates a nude photograph of the wholesome, elongated and glowing Kerr by Carlotta Moye that puts any single, childless woman to colossal shame. Like it’s not discomforting enough to have countless Amazonian exports in the likes of Catherine McNeil, Gemma Ward and Abbey Lee Kershaw giving the rest of the world an incredible bench mark for what regular Australian girls look like, I now have to accept that I couldn’t even compete with Kerr at six-and-a-half months pregnant. That picture was like taking a bullet from the vanity gun.

Speaking of cultivating an unrealistic self-image, I read an article about Kerr’s organic skincare line KORA couple of months ago. In it she spoke of her healthful diet consisting mainly of lean proteins and an abundance of pure fruits and vegetables. She, like every six-foot, divine, Lagerfeld-muse-worthy model, was adamant that she refused to poison her temple with sugar, processed anything and refined nasties. She also mentioned something called a “Goji” berry that instantaneously had my best friend and I buckling up on route to our nearest health food store.

Pregnant or not, I’d deem every piece of diet advice that escaped the ample lips of Kerr as if it came from the Virgin Mary herself. I maintain this about myself, based on nutritional studies suggesting that Goji berries have in fact been bequeathed by the hand of God directly into my mouth. These desiccated, little, red pellets are laden with antioxidants, vitamins A, C and E, are a rich source of Carotenoids, Calcium and Thiamin, contain over 18 Amino Acids and house 21 trace minerals. Talk about miracle! It’s no wonder Kerr has been a longstanding devotee to this heavenly Tibetan super-food.

So now that we share a common bond (that doesn’t relate at all to the overtly brash young gentleman at Bondi Beach who asked me if I was pregnant and upon my answering “no”, responded with, “would you like to be?”) I feel I deserve the right to extend my congratulations to Kerr, Bloom and their new little Goji berry. I wish them many restful nights all the happiness the world has to offer.

(sources: www.gojijuices.net, Vogue Australia – January 2011 edition)